What Signs Indicate That The Child Is Spoiled?
We have all seen infants scream and kick in the middle of a supermarket, hit other children or disrespect their parents. In general, it is easy to detect, from the outside, when a child is spoiled, since their behaviors are striking and disruptive.
However, when it is our son who commits these transgressions, it is not so easy to accept. Spoiled children are not only challenging for parents and teachers; in reality, they are the most affected by these kinds of attitudes.
They end up experiencing rejection from other people and getting involved in constant conflict. In addition, they reach adulthood without having acquired many essential personal tools. Therefore, it is important to detect and correct these behaviors.
Actions that can turn your child into a spoiled child
Spoiled children are not born that way. Their behavior is the result of an inappropriate parenting style implemented at home. We show you, therefore, some of the mistakes you may have made if you think your child is spoiled.
Inappropriate limits
Children need limits to grow emotionally and psychologically healthy. Thus, guidelines as simple as “do not eat sweets before dinner” or “you have to pick up the toys after using them” help guide and provide security.
However, these limits must be clear, coherent and consistent. If you give in so that your child does not cry or to avoid a conflict, you will be taking away authority and sending confusing signals.
Overprotection
Some parents, in order to make life easier for their children, end up depriving them of the opportunity to learn to tolerate frustration. Minors must acquire responsibilities according to their age and assume the consequences of their actions.
Therefore, it is okay to help your child, but not to do everything for him. This will make you feel like you only have rights and not responsibilities.
Authoritarianism
The opposite extreme is not suitable either. We cannot relate to our children only on the basis of orders, commands, shouts and threats.
Children need to feel loved, respected, heard, and taken into account. Otherwise, the bond deteriorates and rebellion and behavior problems can increase.
Bad example
Have you ever stopped to think how you address your child? If you tend to raise your voice to him, get into power struggles and say “no” to everything, it is not surprising that he repeats and imitates those behaviors with you and with other people. Remember that you are their main reference.
Signs that a child is spoiled
As we have discussed, it is not easy to admit that our son is spoiled. However, if you are wondering if this is your case, you can look at the presence of the following signs.
1. Frequent tantrums
Tantrums are common between the ages of 2 and 4. However, beyond that age, their presence may indicate that the child is spoiled.
And, at this point, they no longer occur because they lack other resources to express their emotions, but are used to manipulate adults and achieve their goals.
2. Excessive whims
Spoiled children do not value what they have and are never satisfied. If your child quickly gets tired of his toys and asks for new ones, if he asks to cook his favorite dinner and then prefers something else, stay tuned.
When a child wants everything, wants it now and does not accept a refusal, it is important to review what is happening.
3. Lack of education
To live in society we must all address each other with respect and consideration. This includes asking permission, thanking, or saying “please,” but also avoiding being rude to other people.
If a minor addresses others in a disrespectful or contemptuous way, if he makes hurtful comments, hits or raises his voice, we are facing a red alert.
4. Disobedience
It is normal that children do not always obey the first time, that they resist what they do not want to do or try to get rid of. However, spoiled minors deliberately ignore the orders and requests of their parents and do not take up their responsibilities.
How to correct and deal with a spoiled child?
Fortunately, if we identify a problem attitude in children, it is possible to correct it. To do this, we will have to analyze where we have failed and make some adjustments in the parenting style:
- Set clear rules and try to stick to them. Don’t give in to fatigue or pressure.
- Allow your child to take responsibility. Don’t do for him what he can do for himself.
- Trade orders and threats for respect and dialogue. Explain the reasons behind your requests or your refusals to their wishes. The traditional “because I said so” is not enough.
- Begins to be a positive example. Address your child as you would like him to address others and try not to get on his level when he yells, cries, or challenges you.
- Reinforce appropriate behaviors. You begin to appreciate their good attitudes and spend more time with them doing rewarding activities for both of you.
Family changes take time
Educating is a complex and demanding task. All fathers and mothers make multiple mistakes. Don’t blame yourself or flagellate yourself; Rather, congratulate yourself for having recognized the situation and take steps to remedy it.
Modifying family dynamics is not easy and it is likely that, at the beginning, your child will put up resistance. However, by doing so you will be ensuring better psychological development and, therefore, a happier life. Don’t lose sight of that valuable goal.
